Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
