i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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