i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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