I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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