She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
