Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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