so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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