I want to stick my p in your. b.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize