you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
