Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
