i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
