I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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