that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
