no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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