there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
