How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Randomize
