Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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