***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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