the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
