I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
