i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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