I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
