my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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