forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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