Need sex. Gaining weight.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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