apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just invented taco cereal.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
