I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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