If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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