it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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