Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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