if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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