SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
