dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize