White coat. Heels.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I wear drunk well.
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