are you so shy because you have an std?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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