bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
