get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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