She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
