i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
