I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
