found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
What drink are we having for lunch?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
