You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
