Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
