I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
