Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
COCAINE IS GR8
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
