then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize