I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize