it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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