yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
