well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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