Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
