Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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