YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ketchup is God's man juice
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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