She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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