Do you still have your period?
one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
how drunk are you?
Several
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
