How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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