yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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