I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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