i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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