Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
