Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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