apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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