I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
worst night to have a conscience
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
bring money and cleavage
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
