What tipped you off? The sombrero?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
