At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
