the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize