Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
