Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
