Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
