I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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