You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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