New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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