How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
