i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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