It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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