'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you win again, gameday.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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