The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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