She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
