You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
