so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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