So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
