if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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