the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize