After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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