It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
