My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
