You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
