I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize