everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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