I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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