i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
