he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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