Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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