Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
