Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
